We bought Preston an alarm clock on Sunday. It was at his request, even though I've been considering the idea for a while. Sunday night, his last words before I closed his door were, "I can't WAIT for my alarm at 7 in the morning." My last thoughts were, "Yeah, we'll see how long THAT lasts."

Preston unplugged and threw his alarm clock on the couch this morning. Apparently, he doesn't want it anymore.

The Quest for Turtle

So, it's been no secret that life in these parts has been less than - friendly. The fit throwing and tantrums have had me closer to the looney bin than I've ever been in my life. And yet, somehow in all the chaos, once again Albert finds a solution.

Preston has a responsibility chart. He's got about 7 things that he has to do in a day, and he gets a smiley for each day that he does it. The original bribe reward was money. He loves money to buy junk. I love good behavior. It's a working relationship. Anyway, apparently he doesn't love money as much as I love good behavior, because that only worked for a week. (I should note that my son is the master manipulator of "systems." If I haven't already blogged about time outs, I will later.)

The other night, after a particularly terrible fit at the dinner table and the subsequent talk, all three of us are snuggled on the couch to watch tv (his choice) for the only 15 minutes of free time Preston has before bed. It was Wonder Pets, which if you don't have children to have been tortured blessed by this programing, is about three school pets that save animals in danger during after hours. All non-chalant, Albert asks Preston if he could have one of those three animals as a pet, which would it be? (FYI, the choices are a duckling, a hamster and a turtle.) Without hesitation, Preston says turtle. And then my husband, whom I love dearly, leaves me somewhere between fainting and stabbing when he responds, "Well, if you can get all the smiley's on your chart for 4 weeks in a row, I'll get you a turtle." (In retrospect, I realized how HARD 4 weeks IN A ROW would actually be, and it seems like a pretty good deal. 28 days to break a habit, people.)

Anyway, I'm rambling, and all of this lead up is really for one tiny question that I got this morning on the way to his friend's house. We're having our morning discussion about not being upset and throwing a fit when I leave, because I have to go to work - and for once, he agrees to be calm about the situation. And after a slight pause, he poses this question:

"Mom, when I get a turtle, THEN what if I throw a fit?"

Great. So the post-turtle era is already in planning. Don't even try to convince me 5 year olds aren't dictators.

More talk of being a Daddy

I've blogged before of Preston's desire to be a daddy here.

We had dinner with my grandparents last night, and Preston told my grandma:

"I wish Albert would go to Heaven so I could hurry up and be a Daddy."

Recent Funny #3

Last night, we got a lovely rendition of "Farmer in the Dell." I never knew the farmer picked a "life," but he did sing all the way through to the cheese standing alone. :)

Recent Funny #2

Preston went for his 5 year check up on Tuesday. He had been freaking out for a week anytime it was mentioned because he didn't want any shots. On Tuesday, he forgot about the doctor and thought I was picking him up for one of our dates. You can imagine his dismay.

So, I had to drag him, literally, out of the car. Drag him into the building. Drag him into the office. Threaten to beat him senseless if he opened that door and took off running. Drag him into the back when they called his name.

The nurse did a great job of calming him down as she weighed and measured him. I thought we were past the panic, because he was laughing and cutting up with her. That's when she said, 'Okay Preston, follow me" and headed left. Preston calmly turned right, and walked back to the front office, and headed for the door. Where I caught him and drug him back to the back.

She caught us in the hall and assured him he didn't need any shots. He was fine after that.

Recent Funny #1

Preston was playing with my phone about a week ago, when he notified me that I needed to "get a phone that you can do this" - and demonstrated rubbing his thumb up the side of my Blackberry screen. "You can even TOUCH THE SCREEN, Mom!"

He's going to die when his aunt get's her new iPhone.

Not much funny...

So, I haven't posted in a while. There isn't much "funny" going around our house right now. I'm sure there actually IS, but Preston and I are, and have been, at a difficult cross-road and I haven't been paying as much attention to the funnies. I realize that means there is probably an even BETTER reason to post. I, however, have told Albert a number of times that I resign from parenting - so maybe it's HIS job to post. For now.

Preston turned 5 on Sunday. I can't believe it. I'll post the few recent funnies today...if you're not me, he's still the most adorable sweetheart ever.

Me: do you know what "infinity" actually means?

P: It's God's number.

Easter

The Easter bunny brought Preston some Ben 10 "action fingers."

Good Friday

P: Mom, how did Miss Holly know that today would be a good Friday?

The Cool Guy Club

So Albert and I have this thing (inside joke, I guess) with my brother-in-law and his wife about calling each other the cool guy whenever someone screw something up. For example: "Man, you guys are late!" will be responded to as "thanks to the COOL GUY" and point to...Ruben, usually. It's possible you won't get how incredibly funny all of this actually is, but I know at least 3 other people out there that will think it's the funniest thing on the planet...so I deemed it blog-worthy.

Anyway, it's an ongoing joke; except, I don't think I realized how OFTEN we said it, until after this conversation Wednesday afternoon.

P and his best friend are in the back seat discussing a Capt. America comic book I got at the Air Force base, when I hear Preston say that they gave it to him. So, I turned around to interceed in the conversation:

Me: They gave it to WHO?

P: Me...the cool guy.

I've been awful...

Which is very sad, because P has been HILARIOUS. He thinks he's so grown up. I'm going to try harder to update...promise

In the meantime, here is a picture from his hour at school with me this afternoon. It's the second time in 2 weeks he's been able to come and hang out before Albert picks him up. We went to the "big room" (Palo Duro Lounge) and he looks at me and says, "wanna continue talking about halloween?" I was confused, because we hadn't mentioned halloween the entire time, so I asked him what he meant. Eye roll, "Mom, we talked about it in this room last time. Wanna talk about it some more? Go ahead. You start."

Uh, okay.

Quote of the month...

"because I'm almost 5, mom."

Variation: "I am grown up, I'm about to be 5, mom. Five is grown up."


His birthday is in June.

Krispie Kreme Donuts

P: Mom, we should go to Krispie Kreme. (The same statement I get every morning we pass it.)

Me: You should tell grandma to take you to Krispie Kreme.

P: No mom, we should go as a family. We should all go and get donuts. Because you have to go, and you have to wait outside for a long time, and then, when they turn on the light it tells you 'Come and get them, they're hot donuts' and you go in and you get a donut.

Me: P, you should really ask grandma. I don't even really like Krispie Kreme donuts.

P: (in the exact tone I use) Mom, you should really try things, you never know what you're missing.

Me: Oh, well, if I try Krispie Kreme are you going to start trying the things I ask you to try?

P: Mom, Krispie Kreme is sooooo good. And it's just krispies and kreme. Because, you see, they take the kreme, and they melt it and then they pour it over the krispie. See? It's so good, and they cook the donuts and they pour the melted kreme over the donuts and then, after a while it gets all krispie and then you have Krispie Kreme! And it's really good, and you should try just a tiny bite because you will like it because it's just krispie and kreme.

Cheaterleaders

It's been a long time since I posted, so I'm going to try and update with the stories I keep telling myself over and over so I'll remember to post them.

Preston and Albert were talking over dinner last night. Since Preston is "about to be 5" he thinks he's grown, and has decided he wants to play football. Albert and him were going to practice outside, and they were talking about...well, I wasn't really listening when Preston looked at me across the room and said, "And mom, YOU can be the cheaterleader!"